Weekly Newsletter 05
The one about Transformation
I hope you made it well through the week. These past seven day were full of remaking and reshifting. So the motto of this newsletter is: Transformation.
Weekly update 01 - Reality check
Life isn’t always just sunshine and rainbows and I feel like there is no theme or update to this week other than the fact that I didn’t like it that much and it didn’t like me, which is to say I was having a hard time this week, at least, until Thursday evening. The stress of university and applying for jobs without replies or with rejections is definitely catching up to me.
On Thursday evening I got to talk to my best friend and blurted out a rant I didn’t know I had to get of my soul. I did do nice things this week, like sitting in the sun and playing cards and going to play billiard with some new friends I am happy about it but I just didn’t have the joy in me to receive it too. Next to a FaceTime call with my long-distance best friend, the cure was also a run to the beach on Thursday evening. I didn’t really enjoy the run but ever since my mind has been reopened for some positivity and optimism.
Frankly, I also didn’t really want to see people this week and skipped as many classes as I could while just studying by myself. At the same time, the time spent with people was the nicest and I just needed to remind myself not to enjoy my own company too much. I guess this all goes back to the idea of comfort zones and mine has been narrowing down with all the new things I’m setting out for.
So, my advice: Wait for it to make sense! A few days later these sentiments have become understandable, processed and good things came back with enjoyment.
On Friday, I saw this truck passing by me that simply had “FIGHT” written on it and I took it as a spiritual sign to fight these demons, to choose violence where necessary and force myself to strength because it is too comfortable sitting with your softness and letting yourself go weak. (In fact, the 90s challenge has become a sign of weakness as much as a sign of strength for me. While the strength of restraint shows mental discipline and control, the weakness is that I need to go the opposite extreme to deal with social media and what it is related with. Strong people just deal with it or work it out.)
The 90s challenge
More than a month of living in the technological world of the 90s and I think I am over it :( I miss my AirPods, checking Instagram, watching my favourite YouTubers, listening to Podcasts, watching Netflix, understanding “chronically-online” references, listening to my playlists and just scrolling around. The problem is: I don’t know how to be with or how to be without. The thought of being back on social media overwhelms me and knowing myself it probably will soon. I am trying to find a plan for a balanced reintroduction but I think I’ll just have to jump into cold water and see whether I can handle it. I guess knowing the peace that I have known the past five weeks will never let me get back to these technologies the same way but I want to go back to it with a “nice-to-have”-mentality.
So the best plan I have come up with, is that starting next week all rules of the 90 challenge are lifted. I will be able to go back to everything and see what it is like and how I feel about it.
I don’t want to be dramatic, but it feels like I will live completely different against because the rules were so restrictive that even just listening to a playlist or watching a Youtube video will be relieving. At the same time, I know my anxiety from social media will creep up again but maybe I will just feel a lot of dopamine from the algorithm. I think it will be most overwhelming knowing what everyone is doing again and having to go through FOMO and comparison. I think the best thing about the challenge was not being able to know what other people are up to.
Weekly recommendation 01 - “Adult sleepovers”
My favourite thing of the week was being invited for a couples sleepover at our friends’ place. They had an empty room at the apartment and we were invited for dinner and to stay the night. We had Chilean completos, went over deep questions from my Book of Questions (in itself a recommendation: It’s a book that gives you questions of scenarios or hypotheticals) and played Mario Kart. The fun part about it was being with friends and your boyfriend who is also friends with the friends while your friends are also boyfriend/girlfriend. It kind of felt like How I met Your Mother or Friends and we were Rachel and Monica and Joe and Chandler or Marshall and Lily and Ted and Robin. Of course, each character I just mentioned is viewed bad by some and good by others but the wholesomeness that these sitcoms provide also reached me by doing an “adult” or couple sleepover". And, just going away for a night, being invited for dinner and breakfast and just hanging around with friends and your boyfriend and taking the time felt like a little weekend getaway and the peak of quality time.
Weekly update 02 - What was I up to?
I just wanted to share some moments from my camera roll which I would have otherwise posted online, so now I am posting them via Email. As you can tell by now, I just like highlighting these little moments. And please send me pictures of your favourite moments, I would love to know :)
Weekly recommendation 02 - The Strokes
I just really like The Strokes and it is crazy to me that they created the kind of Alternative music that is big and “new” today twenty years ago. My favourites: The Adults are Talking & Why Are Sundays so Depressing & Is This It.
And while we are at it and if you like them go and listen to Oasis again and The Flaming Lips.
Thank you for reading!
We will hear each other again next week and I will tell you all about the end of the 90s challenge and what else I have been up to :) Enjoy the new week!