WEEKLY NEWSLETTER 03
A tiny notebook, Valentine's Day and so many discoveries
Dear everyone,
this is the third instalment of the newsletter meaning that I have now lived in the technological world of the 90s for more than two weeks and I will keep going.
90s challenge
This past week taken over by (pessimistic) existentialism I didn’t knew I kept inside of me. After catching up on all the chores and plans I had for myself because of my sudden and large amount of free time in the first week that I yielded to Social Media before, I felt broken down to the chore and broken down to what remains underneath tasks, plans and productivity. It was me sitting in my room with nothing left to do, or put differently: No thoughts, just (defeated) vibes.
Sitting with yourself sweeps up a lot of feelings you didn’t know you had and it is completely different from the desperate thoughts that we are probably all used to compared to surfacing feelings. So yes, existentialism. At one point, I felt like I couldn’t really achieve a feeling of relaxing or logging off, because “logging off” from the day was usually to log into social and doom scroll until you felt enough sensations without having to think much - quick dopamine. I didn’t get that anymore and the depravation hit slow and steady and then suddenly I could feel that I longer received feel-good hormones that were quick and easy but rarely sustainable.
I also logged off socially this week because with all these emotions that bubbled up I felt like I could only capture them by creating a state of serenity for myself. On Saturday I caved and I treated myself to listening to whatever music I wanted. No more of the same five albums on repeat. I listened to all genres, singles and artists I possibly could and I was too happy about it. But I also realised that I appreciate the calmness of no longer being on my phone while cooking or before going to bed and to not listen to music always and then being limited in options. I allowed myself to process things I didn’t know I needed to process and although it felt rough I came out of it breathing deeper and yearning for less which to me is the closest I can come to tranquility considering myself that is ever-thinking and ever-feeling.
So if you want advice: Sit with it. Don’t think through it but let happen to you what you didn’t know was going to happen.
Weekly update 01 - Valentines Day
Oh what controversy, a day of love contested by anti-capitalism. I wish out of all anti-capitalism sentiment we spare Valentine’s Day the most but somehow it seems to be the day where even the consumerist nags about consumption. Probably because the 1960s created an idea of romantic love tied to leisure and excitement which traps us in unrealistic ideas of love and ideas we know we cannot fulfil today or ever and, thus, treat it ironically or with frustration, according to Eva Illouz. So not to call you out, but maybe if you don’t like Valentine’s Day, it is because you still have to fend off or sit with (according to my humble advice) your unrealistic ideas of love.
For me, Valentine’s Day was “Go-with-your-partner-to-work”-Day and, indeed, it was lovely and almost romantic sitting at the empty bar, taking breakfast, and staring at a supersized stock-image of a red sunset on a palm tree-filled beach while listening to music and simply spending time together with no agenda or pressure.
When we talked about Valentine’s Day a friend of mine said: “We have to stop shaming people who simply want to celebrate love on Valentine’s Day” (or something like that) and I want to reflect on it a little more and I think she is right. We, critics and anti-capitalists, have forgotten that we are also attacking the celebration of emotion - or how Robin Williams as John Keating says in Dead Poets Society: “Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”
In addition, my feminism professora said: “Guilt and shame prevent the thought of stigmatised ideas of love. But, we should not idealise, because idealisation is a defence mechanism to avoid the reality. Every idealisation results in frustration.” Thus, “one needs to be a free being to go against a dominant, stigmatised script and myths of love”. Just like bell hooks defined love as “rather than saying "(I think) I'm in love," we were saying "(I've connected with someone in a way that makes me think) I'm on the way to knowing love."
Weekly Update 02 - My only socialising this week and another textbook-like international experience
My lovely Portuguese friend invited us (international friends) to a Portuguese dinner with her Portuguese friends and at the same time introduced me to a new favourite Portuguese food: Bacalhau à Brás. If I’m right and actually listened to my friend explaining, Bacalhau à Brás is crunchy potato sticks cooked with salty cod fish and eggs, topped with parsley. Simple and delicious.
I wish I could add pictures but I realised that there is no such thing as a flattering picture when you take them while people are chewing and munching food. So please use your imagination and picture a cute, crowded apartment with people sitting on the couch and on chairs around it, laughing, conversing and eating Bacalhau à Brás. If only I could have place to host my friends, I would make them Spätzle with Linsen and Maultaschen and Schnitzel and Dampfnudeln.
Weekly update 03: Weekly recommendations
My highlight of the week was that I invested into a racing bike (and also invested into a lock which cleaned my wallet out more than I expected) and I am so happy with it. I will cry if it gets stolen, so please pray to God or affirm to the universe your prayers and wishes of good karma and fortune that my bike will remain locked, secured and not stolen.
The bike feels like my baby now but at the same time I feel like a child that is free to roam the streets of Barcelona and skip the busy metro and arrive everywhere quicker and with more ease and coolness than before.
Second, being in Hospitalet (a neighboorhod a bit outside of Barcelona) more regularly is the realisation that what Turkish are to Germany are Latinos to Spain. And what Turkish Bakeries are to my heart beating faster are Colombian Bakeries in Spain. The way the sweet Arepa con Queso melted in my mouth and with it into my heart is the beginning of an addiction that costs me 2.70€ a piece and I am willing to sacrifice. So my best recommendation of the week are to try Arepas con Queso and Colombian Bakeries.
Lastly, another positive and very much cute update and recommendation is having a cat at home. The cat will come to you, purr, and let it pet you and you will feel special about yourself because the cat let you. Also cats are really funny animals because they all seem a little bit crazy.
Pick an album for me
I am changing the current five albums I selected to five new ones, since I crossed the two-week mark. I have picked some already (which I will probably talk about in the next newsletters), but please help me choose from the abundance of albums I love and I am to indecisive to pick. Vote here and the two most popular will be added to my album rotation :)
This is it! See you next week again :)
Thank you for reading another weekly newsletter and I hope you enjoyed it.
Also thank you for all the emails and text responses I got from you about the first and second newsletter. It made my heart feel warmer and my face blush and I appreciate you <3